


Replacement

by Ev Pocket (rubynyarwhall)



Category: The Yogscast
Genre: Gen, One Shot, Short, Yoglabs, also i didn't proofread this so if there are typos whoops sorry don't cry about it, honeyphos if you squint really hard, oops all dialogue
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-05-02
Updated: 2019-05-02
Packaged: 2020-02-15 19:37:50
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 736
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18676117
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/rubynyarwhall/pseuds/Ev%20Pocket
Summary: Honeydew wakes up with a gun to his head.





	Replacement

"Does anyone want to explain to me what the hell is going on here?" Honeydew exclaimed, interrupting the declamatory conversation that was going on on either side of him.

In front of him, all the way at the other side of the room, Xephos stood with a pistol aimed shakily in Honeydew's direction. And behind him, at much closer range, was a stranger pressing the cold barrel of a gun to his head. He couldn't be certain who it was, but the height, voice, and the glimpse of curly ginger hair in his peripheral were quite familiar.

"Nothing, don't worry about it." Xephos answered, putting Honeydew more on edge than he had been before. He was about to press for more answers when the man behind him piped up again,

"Actually, Xephos, it's not nothing," he said, "See, this is why I had to do this,"

It was then it finally clicked to Honeydew that he was hearing his own voice. A rogue clone? He shifted his weight, hearing broken glass crunch underneath his boots,

"Look, I can tell you two are having some difficulties, but there are a few things I would like right now: One; I would like to have fewer guns pointing towards me, and two; I would like for someone to tell me where I am, how I got here, and why."

Xephos softened his posture and lowered his pistol, the movement making the clone hold onto Honeydew tighter. Xephos began to speak

"Well, after you were put in the cloning vat--"

"I was in the cloning vat?" Honeydew interrupted. That would explain the broken glass, and how cold he was right now.

"Yes, keep up. I made some clones of you to help out around Yoglabs."

"Um, correction," The clone said, waving his gun around pointedly, "You made a bunch of disposable yet fully sentient copies of him, to do all your dirty work. You fucking maniac."

"Well, to be fair," Honeydew piped in, "It is hard to run this place by yourself."

"What about the testificates?" The clone yelled, almost directly into Honeydew's ear, "You expect me to believe there is a non-malicious reason to make a bunch of Dwarf sized servants and delude them into thinking they are your best friend when you have a compound full of workers literally growing on trees?"

Beat. Xephos looked from side to side, before answering:

"I was lonely," he explained, his voice almost whiney.

"Aw, you missed me," Honeydew cooed, "Uhm, by the way, how long have I been... out for?"

Both ignoring Honeydew's question the two continued to speak.

"And what were you going to do with us when you got him back? Throw us in a fire?"

"Uh, basically, yes, that was the plan." Xephos said,

The clone, having made up his mind that he was thoroughly tired of this back and forth, brought the gun back up to the side of Honeydew's-- who had been too absorbed in the argument to try escaping-- head, and pulled the trigger.

Honeydew and Xephos both tensed up, holding their breath tightly. There was the gunshot, ringing in their ears. Honeydew's eyes were squeezed tightly shut and he was sure he was dead, until he heard his own heart throbbing. He slowly opened his eyes and found his clone dead on the cold floor, and Xephos standing stiffly with smoke coming from his pistol.

Realizing what had just happened he tried to slow his breathing, and ease the shaking of his hands. He may have been able to successfully calm himself down if Xephos hadn't ran up to him full speed and fell to his knees to reach his friends height level, throwing his arms around him. Xephos was crying, which made Honeydew cry as well, more out of confusion than anything-- he had never seen the spaceman cry before.

They cried and cried, and after they stopped crying they started laughing. Bubbly, shrill laughter punctuated with sniffles and chattering teeth. Finally they slowed down, catching their breath as they sat on the floor together.

"Oh," Honeydew somehow still managed the energy to happily squeal the word out, "Xephos, you really know how to make a dwarf feel cared about!"

"Of course," Xephos smiled weakly, "I care about you, friend. Now," he stood back up, "I am going to need you to get back in the cloning vat."

"Yeah, alright, don't rush me."


End file.
